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1997-03-20
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680
915021200 0241 01320011 1
SPRAY IT AGAIN, SAM
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The Real Story of Language
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And Translation
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A Semi-Humorous Account
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By Alex Gross
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Once upon a time
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there were only animals.
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No men.
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No women.
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Not even persons.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
They needed to tell
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each other things.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
At least about their
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own lives.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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They needed to talk
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about territory.
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About food and mating.
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About mutual status
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and danger.
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BUT HOW COULD THEY DO THIS?
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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By spraying everything
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around them with
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a special scent.
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"This is my turf."
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"My store of food."
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"My mate."
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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It was messy.
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It wasn't always clear.
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And it could cause trouble.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
So just to clear things
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up, some of the animals
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started barking at
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each other too.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
Others tried howling.
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Or hissing.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Or grunting, moaning,
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and groaning.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
And that's how they
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managed things.
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Either by spraying,
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or by barking, grunting,
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hissing, etc.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
But there were problems.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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At one point a whole
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bunch of creatures
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got together at
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an Evolutionary
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Progress Conference
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and had an
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argument.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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It was a waste of
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energy, said some.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Why should we have two
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ways of communicating,
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why should we both
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spray and make sounds,
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they asked.
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Why not combine them both
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into one function?
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
But others objected.
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They enjoyed spraying
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and didn't want to
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give it up.
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So very little changed.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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After a few billion
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years, a whole new bunch
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of apes came along.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Some decided they could
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say things better by
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combining barks, howls
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and hisses in very
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specific ways.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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But this idea
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had a few problems.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
The old way of doing
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things--spray, growls,
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and hisses--didn't
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say much. But it was
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pretty unmistakable.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
015011110 5 0 0 0 0011 1
----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Combining all these
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sounds made it harder
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to tell one meaning
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from another. This
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meant you could sometimes
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get the wrong message.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Besides, where did this
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leave spraying?
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
015011110 5 0 0 0 0011 1
----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
It also meant a
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few things had to
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happen before such
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a system could work.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
First, these apes
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needed a way to make these
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sounds PLUS a special
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kind of hearing
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to tell them apart.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Not to mention
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greater intelligence,
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so they could be sure
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what the sounds meant.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Some say this
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is still a problem.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
It also meant limiting
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the number of sounds
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permitted in any
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spray-growl-hiss
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system.
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That way there would
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be less confusion.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
015011110 5 0 0 0 0011 1
----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
After several million
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years, a few apes
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finally got this right.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
At the next
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Evolutionary
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Progress Conference,
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they told the other
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creatures that they
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were moving their
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spray apparatus
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upstairs and combining
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it with their
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biting system.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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This was not a hit
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with the other
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creatures, and these
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apes had no choice but
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to go off on their own.
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But the apes didn't
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mind this at all.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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They were proud,
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because they were
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sure they had solved
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all the world's
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communication
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problems for
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all time.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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First, they set up
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a system for making
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sure all their
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"spray-sounds" were
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always spoken correctly.
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They would enclose
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each moan in a little
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capsule with a
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distinctive shape.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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Call these little
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capsules "consonants"
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and the moan sounds
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they contain "vowels,"
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and it all makes
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fairly good sense.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
There were rules
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for placing capsules
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together so they
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could be spoken correctly.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
This also helped you
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to tell members
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of your own clan from
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dangerous outsiders.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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But many problems remained.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
You could only tell
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these new sounds apart
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if a single clan
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kept living closely
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together in the
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same area.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
If families and clans
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drifted apart, their
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sounds and meanings
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started drifting too.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
In some places
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they are still drifting
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even today.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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But these apes started
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migrating in every
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direction, their sound
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systems constantly
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changing as they went.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
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And this whole process
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may have started
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twice or more in
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different places.
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There's no way we
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can know for sure.
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Apes don't write histories.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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As they wandered,
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all their sound-spray
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systems scattered to
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the winds.
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And so did the capsules
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containing their moans.
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Even the systems for
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making capsules changed.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Apes living in new
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climes started inventing
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new spray-sounds
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to describe things.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
They launched new
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technologies, world
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outlooks, religions,
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all requiring new
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spray-sounds.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
After a few million
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years, these apes
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had another idea.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
They were tired of
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repeating themselves, and
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they also needed some
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system for recording the
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growing number of
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their possessions.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
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This is important,
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said some, so let's
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carve it in stone.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
It's easier stamping
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it in clay, said others.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Still others longed
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for a brush or quill,
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if only they could
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find some paper.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
And so after a while
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Science Marched On,
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finally.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
But not without a
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multitude of languages
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and dialects to deal with.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
And here it is that
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Translators Enter the Scene!
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Consider all these
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different sound-spray
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systems, each with its own
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way of encapsulating
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sound and meaning.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
What do they most
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resemble?
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
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Are they not in some ways
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similar to highly
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sophisticated hydraulic
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networks? Or perhaps
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more homespun plumbing
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systems, each one
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built from different
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materials according
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to different rules?
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
Could this be what
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translators and interpreters
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really are--hydraulic
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engineers of the mind
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and/or pioneering
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plumbers of meaning,
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in the several senses
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of "to plumb?"
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
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Whatever system of
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pipes or hydraulic
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devices is used in
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Language A, translators
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must build a comparable
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system in Language B,
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even though the two
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systems can never
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be the same.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
The watery element
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is unavoidable, since
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language is still
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largely based on spray.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
Animals spray everything
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around them--people talk
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at or about everything
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around them.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
015011110 5 0 0 0 0011 1
----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
015011111 0 0 0 0 0011 1
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And we become quite
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upset when our spray
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marks prove mistaken
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or are violated
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by others.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
If you doubt this,
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consider how we still
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use language today:
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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To defend turf or property.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
To proclaim our rights.
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To proclaim our love
1214021200 0121 0 726011 1
for--and property
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rights in--our mate.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
To assert our status.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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Perhaps these categories
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are now enlarged by
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political disputes,
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intellectual pursuits,
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and academic feuding.
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But this is debatable.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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These spray-sounds
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can also cause trouble...
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Many creatures assume
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the spray-sound they
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assign to something
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IS
915122200 03013391617011 1
the thing itself.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Sometimes other
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creatures don't agree
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and insist that
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another spray-sound
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IS
915122200 03013391617011 1
that very same thing.
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Once this happens,
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matters often deteriorate...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Or perhaps
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two creatures agree
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on the spray-sound
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but don't agree
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on what it means.
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This rarely
915021200 0211 01121011 1
works out much better.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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Using language as a form
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of spray could also explain
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many forms of fundamentalism,
915021200 0 31 0 230011 1
literalness, and congealed
915021200 0 61 0 429011 1
ideologies seen around us.
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Such behaviors spring
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from those still clinging
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to the spray-using stage
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of producing language.
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---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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Moreover, spray is still
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so much a part of language
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that we would still
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prefer to stand
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at a distance
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when some people speak.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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Human language is
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quite literally
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"glorified" animal spray.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
And animal spray is
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primal language.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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IMPORTANT:
15 9021200 0221 01221011 1
Author's Apology!
1214022200 0151 0 824111 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
But all this must be
915021200 0121 0 726011 1
mistaken! It is
915021200 0161 0 924011 1
only a joke and could
915021200 0111 0 626011 1
not possibly be true.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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1115021200 0321 01716011 1
We humans have gone
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1115021200 0321 01716011 1
FAR BEYOND
11 0122200 02214191221111 1
1115021200 0321 01716011 1
primitive
11 0021200 0231 01220011 1
spraying of our
11 0021200 0161 0 924011 1
surroundings!
11 0021200 0191 01022011 1
1115021200 0321 01716011 1
---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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After all, we have invented
11 0021200 0 51 0 329011 1
the Arts, Literature, Literary
11 0021200 0 21 0 231011 1
Criticism, Linguistics,
11 0021200 0 91 0 527011 1
Transformational Syntax,
11 0021200 0 81 0 528011 1
Universal Grammar,
11 0021200 0141 0 825011 1
Deep Structure,
11 0021200 0171 0 923011 1
Computational Semantics,
11 0021200 0 81 0 528011 1
Translation Studies,
11 0021200 0121 0 726011 1
and many other sublime
11 0021200 0101 0 627011 1
and elevated sciences.
11 0021200 0101 0 627011 1
---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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11 0021200 0321 01716011 1
Obviously, if such a
11 0021200 0121 0 726011 1
primitive theory were true,
11 0021200 0 51 0 329011 1
these advanced sciences
11 0021200 0 91 0 527011 1
would CERTAINLY have
11 0021200 0121 0 726011 1
long ago confirmed
11 0021200 0141 0 825011 1
its validity.
11 0021200 0191 01022011 1
1115021200 0321 01716011 1
But they have not done
11 0021200 0101 0 627011 1
so...they have never remotely
11 0021200 0 31 0 230011 1
suggested such a theory.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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So there is no need
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for you to believe
915021200 0131 0 725011 1
any of this, if you
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find it the slightest
915021200 0111 0 626011 1
bit objectionable.
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
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On the other hand, you
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just might want to
915021200 0141 0 825011 1
make up your own mind...
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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NOTE:
1 5021200 0271 01418011 1
The preceding theory
0 9021200 0121 0 726011 1
has appeared in
0 9021200 0171 0 923011 1
print in two scholarly
0 9021200 0101 0 627011 1
publications: the
0 9021200 0151 0 824011 1
Sci-Tech Translation
0 9021200 0121 0 726011 1
Journal (Oct., 1993)
0 9021200 0121 0 726011 1
and Vol. VI of the
0 9021200 0141 0 825011 1
ATA Scholarly Series.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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If you are wondering
0 9021200 0121 0 726011 1
if the author is truly
0 9021200 0101 0 627011 1
serious about this
0 9021200 0141 0 825011 1
theory, you might want
0 9021200 0101 0 627011 1
to read the file
0 9021200 0161 0 924011 1
SPRAY.TXT for further
0 9021200 0111 0 626011 1
information. You can
0 9021200 0111 0 626011 1
select this section
0 9021200 0131 0 725011 1
from the "Related
0 9021200 0151 0 824011 1
Articles" sub-menu.
0 9021200 0131 0 725011 1
---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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This is the end
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915021200 0321 01716011 1
of Section Three.
914021200 0151 0 824011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
915021200 0321 01716011 1
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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1
